Walter Risso is a psychologist which writes about man’s affective types from his clients’ point of view, and also from his own experience as a contemporary man.
A 19 year old woman was describing her ideal man: ‘ I’d like him to be confident, but sometimes to show his set side too, tender and loving, but not over-sweet, to be successful, but not obsessed with his career; to give me attention, but not suffocating; articulate, but a handy man too…’ When she finished her description, Walter told her this would be a very interesting case of multiple personality.
Men nowadays are confronting more and more with what’s expected from them, according to the ‘macho’ man archetype cultivated for centuries. Men that have huge self-imposed expectations, that have no right to have any intimacy and that must demonstrate their intelligence and power in order to be loved and respected. Men that try to fight against the expectations of a world he himself has created, a world that can’t accept that even a man ca suffer…
The combination between power and pain is the secret history of the contemporary man.
By Michael Kaufman
Any species’ female seems to prefer the strong and brave men, even if the safety and survival of the species would logically depend on the males that are cautious and avoid fighting. Force is tested among men and patience is tested among women… This is a law that functions for centuries and centuries, that completely leeds our life.
The real drama comes when the man wishes he was sensitive, wishes he was natural for a change and forget about being the strong ‘hero’ that everyone expects… But then… Would society accept and encourage this behavior? Would society ever tolerate or accept the fact that he can have fears, that he may wish to take his ‘tough’ mask off… and just breathe? Would the children respect a loving father that embraces and kisses them, or would they need a strict, firm father figure?
There’s always a very thin line between the extremes and very difficult to find the place that’s ‘just’ right…