‘Make love… not sex…’ she thought.
Elizabeth met Nick three years ago. They’ve been partners ever since, but now she felt almost nothing while making love to him. She felt it was artificial, like watching cheap porn. Then she wondered… ‘How come my love life suddenly tuned into cheap porn?’
You either make love with your heart, your mind, your body… or in a fortunate case… all at once.
When you make love with your heart, there’s tenderness, affection, no rush, no goal, it’s simply pure enjoyment. The destination isn’t important or imperative, it’s the way… The heart is indeed the most powerful force we have… The heart can sense ahead of our brain, emotions travel faster than thoughts and they create our entire life. Our present is the result of our past emotions. They travel fast and they contain life force. ‘People may forget you, what you said, how you look like… But they will never forget how you made them feel!’ The entire Universe responds to feelings only. The ones knowing the Secret of the law of attraction are fully aware of how their feelings impact their lives.
When you make love with your brain, it’s all based on thoughts, or psychological. What your mind tells you about your partner, the way your partner was able to stimulate your brain, how intellectual he is, what kind of conversation you’ve had, what kind of fantasies are put into practice. A movie you’ve watched, a book you’ve red, what kind of music you’ve listened, a stimulus that fueled your fantasies, your imagination, your brain… It’s very difficult to accept one can use their brain while making love… But it’s one of the main wheels that make it happen… Yet… the orgasm, the climax is explained as the full absence of the brain, the moment of pure bliss when your mind stops, the same as mediation. Online chat sex sites or chat phone lines are strictly based on the power that your mind has over your sexual self.
When you make love with your body, senses take over. The sense of touch is leading, the local stimulus, the physical technique. That’s when toys, oils, massage, fabric, aromatherapy, taste, visuals (movies, dance, striptease, etc) intertwine to create pure pleasure.
Ideally, you combine the three. Ideally, you make love with your heart, your brain, your body… The ideal partner has to be able to combine and skillfully navigate through all your senses, to excite your thoughts and to touch your soul. The three sustain and complete each other.
Tantra yoga goes into deep detail concerning meditation through making love, using the sexual act to reach illumination. Osho’s books on tantra yoga are also very good material, for both men and women to reach illumination though making love.
“During sex, it is very difficult to deceive the other person because that is when each person shows who they really are.”
― Paulo Coelho, Brida