First Love

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He was waiting in the buss station… Tall, dark, long hair. A tamed rocker. Mama’s good boy in black clothes, posing as a Sunday nonconformist…
Leila was late as usual… Comming from highschool, after doing things at her own pace, after going on the fortress again with her friends…
He was the man, still he seemed like a calm, medieval woman, with bonet on her head, waiting for her husband to return home and notice that she exists…
The poet husband, who needs to be understood and tollerated… Smelling of wine, with dimes in his pocket and dreams tearing him apart, continuously shettered by hopes and ideals, a beautiful artist a genious tormented by his own limitations…That was Leila… Felling like a man in a relationship she found confortable and acceptable. He was a good boy she could some day take home and introduce to her parents… He was a decent boy, the correct age… The safe guy who her parents can meet and possibly like and accept…She decided he was the one…
They met at the Christmas show at an orphanage… She needed to go away from home and any reason was good enough… Holidays made her so sad… Her dad would get drunk again and make the family endure endless conversations with no point, no end… Sadness and lonelyness… Hoping she can get drunk and forget, pass the time and go to sleep where she can dream about the gorgeous man who will come though the window, fall in love with her and take her away from it all… He would just take her in his strong arms, fly away and cover her with love… Passionate hugs, finally feeling sheltered and protected… A man to save Leila from her environment and her own self… Passionate kisses to make her forgive and forget…
Rootless, lonely and desperate, dreaming of her hero… Is this every girl’s dream?
He was not this man… He was a comfortable solution, someone she could control… Someone Leila loved for the idea of feeling safe in a way…
First time they made love… They fought over who felt more pain. Leila got out of bed trying to tidy up, as her parents were to return from work soon. She was preocupied with everything being at its place, in order, as they could never know that she used their bed to make love… He felt forlorn as she was more preocupied with the set up then to give him or the entire moment the right attention… She can’t even remember clearly how she felt… Did she feel lonely? Did she feel loved? Did she enjoy it? Leila does remember she was happy it finally happened, that she’s finally a woman with one worry less, that now she can make love and try all the things she only dreamed of before. Leila was now free to give herself to love and enjoy, experiment, find this new world unveiling in front of her. Passion… He was safe to experiment on…

How did it all start for you?

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