Double relationship

IMG_0438‘Should a double relationship bother us?’ Leila found herself very sad and very confused…

She was so in love, finally back again with the man she loved so dearly, however his attachment to his ex and their daily conversations drove her crazy with jealousy.

She did learn people don’t belong to each other and nobody can own another person, as we are free spirits, however she was still possessive and wanted to feel the only one, the alpha and the omega for her other half…

Yes, we are all mature and we want to be friendly with everyone, especially to someone who was once very significant in our lives. Of course you would want to treat the break up maturely and overcome animosity and childish hate. But that’s where the the thin line comes up. Funny… This thin line between human feelings… When are you over friendly? Where should you stop? Is your ex still in love with you? Or are you still fond of him or her? How can a simple, innocent conversation create hope and how it can destroy relationships, even lives…

A double relationship can easily create this vicious triangle, where we all try to be nice to each other and protect everyone’s feelings… But the truth is… In a triangle… Someone always gets hurt…

Leila could testify this was true. She was the living proof of pain, as she wanted to be alone in the relationship with her man. She was a very altruistic soul… But couldn’t stop noticing how much thinking about the other’s feelings actually hurt her own feelings…

How could she find the key to detach herself, to accept and love unconditionally, without feeling hurt or without stopping feeling and caring?

Love is painful because it transforms. Love is mutation. Each transformation is going to be painful because the old has to be left for the new. The old is familiar, secure, safe, the new is absolutely unknown. You will be moving in an uncharted ocean. You cannot use your mind with the new’ with the old, the mind is skillful. The mind can function only with the old’ with the new, the mind is utterly useless.

Hence, fear arises, and leaving the old, comfortable, safe world, the world of convenience, pain arises. It is the same pain that the child feels when he comes out of the womb of the mother. It is the same pain that the bird feels when he comes out of the egg. It is the same pain that the bird will feel when he will try for the first time to be on the wing.

OSHO, The Secret, Talk #2

But in order to embrace the new, you must leave the old. So your old relationship must die, in order to be able to create your new one.

The break up has to occur in order for everyone to move on with their lives…

We have so many different novels about the painful relationships, about the double relationship trauma…

How do you feel about this dangerous, treacherous triangle? What are your thoughts on double relationship?

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