My space


‘My space is important!’ Leila thought.

Even if you find yourself in the most intimate, rewarding, loving, safe relationship, personal space still has its own importance. Where exactly do you end and where does the other half begin?

We like to fantasize about the ideal relationship, where we simply melt into each other becoming One… But do we also need to keep our individuality? Do we still want to have our own identities, our own preferences, our own space?

‘…From the individual space in the house, to have your own belongings, your own clothes, your own accessories, your own books and things you like… My space is very important… I would like to have my own room, where I make my own boudoir, arrange all my make up, my clothes, my books, my cosmetics… I do want to have my own boudoir… I don’t need a lot, but I would definitely like to have my own privacy, my own universe… A place I paint the way I like, a place to arrange the way I like… I also appreciate my own breathing space. I love my partner, but I find it suffocating to be together all the time and do everything together. I need time on my own, time with my own friends, my own hobbies. I need time to miss him, to have things to talk about, space to breathe and to long for each other…’ Leila contemplated.


It is also advised to make space in your life for your other half. In order to have the One in your life, you first have to be prepared for it. Make space in your life, leave time you could spend with the other, make space in your closet, make space on the bathroom shelves, make space in your bed, your bedroom… Make virtual and physical space for the other to come! Be prepared for it and do not forget the Law of Attraction works! You cannot attract something, or someone you’re not lacking! The law of compensation also works! The Universe receives your orders and does not make decisions for you! You attract what you decide you need! If you consider you are complete on your own, the Universe cannot possibly bring someone in your life, as it gets the massage you are self sufficient and satisfied, just the way you are. Too often we learn to do everything on our own and be self sufficient in the contemporary world. Too often we find ourselves so isolated and lonely, just because we leave no space for anyone to enter…


Too often we also go to extremes… Either self sufficient, or we simply become dysfunctional without each other… We can’t do anything on our own anymore, we become to silly attached to each other we can’t even breathe… And that’s where suffocation appears… On one side or both… A love to attached is sickening and suffocating our entire lives… No more individuality, no more space to grow. Even the things in the house are arranged to close together, there is no physical space for any individuality…

‘This frequently happens to women… They have to give up their personal space, first for their partners, then for their children… Slowly, surely, in the name of love, they decide to suffocate, slowly wither and die… No more individuality, no more personal preferences, no more space to grow and become an original, beautiful individual. I don’t want this to happen to myself! I do need my space! I do need my room, my things, my hobbies, my preferences, my time!’ Leila felt how thin the line between bliss in two, or in a family and pain of losing yourself and dyeing is. She saw  that from the wonderful feeling of feeling One… She could just simply disappear and die as an individual…

A healthy relationship leaves space in all ways to both, so that both can grow and be stronger individuals and stronger together. It’s a dance, that is very simple and easy indeed… But then again… We’re humans and we tend to complicate the simplest things the most…

How do you feel about your space? How important is ‘my space’ for you?


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